whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
