these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
