this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
