That's intense
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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