Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
