I bet he comes in French.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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