I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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