That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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