Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
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I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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