dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
