What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm bleeding and have questions
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
