Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
His nipple licking is glorious
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