You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
