so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
