I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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