i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
