oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
