Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
