It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
