have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am one with the molecules
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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