I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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