respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
