i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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