So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
