I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
