I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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