You can't special order awesome
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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