You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
