I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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