is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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