you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
