The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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