Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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