The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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