She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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