you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
