Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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