I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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