YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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