just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Screwed.edu
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
