uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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