we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
