New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize