well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
