break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
