I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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