Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
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