Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
