am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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