he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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