I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
