Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
