I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My balls are so social today.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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