I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
whose ass print is on the piano?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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