True but thats because hes a fetus.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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