Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
