He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
