We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
