Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
