chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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