holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
