Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
